For partners
How Drug Addiction Ruins Relationships
Addiction erodes the safety and trust a relationship is built on. Here is how that damage happens — and why treating the addiction can help rebuild what was broken.
About this guide
Addiction in relationships
Addiction in a relationship creates an environment where people feel unsafe and threatened, and that breeds trust issues. If you suspect your partner has a problem with drugs or alcohol, it is important to seek help early — the earlier you intervene, the better the chance of helping them overcome it.
A partner in active addiction can become unpredictable — lying to cover up their use, blaming others for their problems, neglecting responsibilities until finances unravel, or trying to control a partner’s activities and money. Some go further, taking risks or breaking the law to sustain the habit. If you see these patterns in your life, talk to your loved one about what you have observed.
Ambrosia Behavioral Health treats couples’ most common underlying struggles — trauma, anxiety, and substance use — at our South Florida programs, with family therapy available as part of treatment.
Signs your partner may be struggling
A few signs suggest your significant other may be abusing drugs or alcohol:
If you suspect a problem, seek help before things go too far. The sooner you intervene, the better chance you have at saving your relationship.
- Secretive about substance use and their whereabouts
- Changes in their behavior — and in how they treat you
- Increase in mood swings
- Doing things that make no sense
- Acting angry or aggressive
- Getting into fights and arguments more often than usual
- Lying about using, refusing to discuss it, or blaming you for it
Codependency
A codependent partner relies on the relationship for emotional, mental, and physical support — and may avoid conflict at all costs, enabling the addiction rather than confronting it. Meanwhile, a partner in active addiction may take advantage of those emotional needs, put themselves first, or fail to show empathy. Codependency can touch every part of life, from career to friendships to self-esteem.
Common symptoms of codependency include:
- Feeling responsible for another person’s happiness and well-being
- Keeping the peace at any cost, and pleasing everyone but yourself
- Trying to fix other people’s problems
- Giving up your own dreams to keep your partner happy
- Failing to set boundaries, or being unable to say no
- Taking care of everyone but yourself
How addiction erodes trust
Enabling
Addiction is a disease, not a choice — but when a partner accepts the lies and blame that come with it, the user is enabled to continue. Wanting to stay together does not mean accepting the abuse.
Emotional volatility
Addiction interferes with emotional regulation: anger, frustration, stress, and anxiety become harder to manage, and impulse control slips.
Erratic behavior
Missed appointments, skipped family events, unreturned calls — erratic behavior can appear at any stage, including recovery. If you notice it, talk about what is going on and encourage counseling and support groups.
Deception
A person in addiction often lies to cover their behavior, denies there is a problem, and blames others — and every discovered lie chips away at the foundation of the relationship.
Can treatment help rebuild a relationship?
It may look like a simple case of “addiction hurts relationships,” but addiction is often a symptom of deeper issues. Someone with a history of trauma, for example, may turn to substances to cope — and without treatment for the underlying wound, self-medication hardens into addiction.
Treatment addresses those underlying issues so a person no longer needs substances to cope. In treatment, people learn to manage stress and anxiety, improve communication, build healthier habits, and develop coping strategies — changes that make a fulfilling life possible without substances, and that give a damaged relationship a real chance to heal.
Ready to talk with admissions?
Admissions is available 24/7 to answer questions about mental health and substance use treatment options.